Some Unexpected Realities of Life After the Deal

Let’s say that you recently sold your company or put it through an IPO. While many people may believe the most important question now is “what will you do with your life?,” there’s an equally important but lesser-contemplated question. How will you handle your family and close friends judging or commenting on your every move and action after the deal is done?

Unfortunately, the more visible (and the larger) the headline number of your deal or IPO, the more judgement you can expect. That’s just human nature.

To help you prepare for possible reactions, here are some common themes that have emerged from the hundreds of conversations we’ve had with exited founders:

• How will you handle the world knowing about your wealth? Eggshells would seem like concrete when compared to feeling compelled to read into every word spoken or posted by your friends and family.
• How do you handle the morphing of your family's gratitude for things that were special and perhaps celebratory, into things they now expect will become part of their everyday life?
• How do you share your life in an unapologetic way that doesn’t come off as “tone deaf,” boasting or being out of touch with the reality that many of your friends and family are likely experiencing?

Running your own business is difficult enough, but the fallout from exiting can also be a major challenge. Consider the following three reactions you may face, along with some examples of how they could be expressed:

    1. Judgement

• “Wow, can’t believe he bought a Patek. I took him for an Apple Watch kinda guy.”
• “Oh, now they’re sending their kids to private school.”
• “I guess she decided to upgrade the engagement ring!”
• “I didn’t know they liked to ski in Aspen—thought they were more Vermont people.”

    2. Expectation

• “I know it was for her blowout 40th birthday celebration, but I guess she’ll be taking us all away on a vacation each year now. Maybe Ibiza next time!”
• “It sure was nice he picked up the tab for dinner—should I even bring my wallet next time?”
• “Wow, she donated $1,000 to the charity I ran at the Boston Marathon. Let’s see what she antes up next year.”
• “I wonder what type of gift they’re going to give our daughter for her first birthday? Do they know she has a 529 plan set up?”

    3. Envy

• “That vacation sure looked great. I thought only celebrities went to those places.”
• “It’s gotta be nice to have multiple houses with staff working at all of them!”
• “Forget business class, they’ll just fly private all the time now.”
• “Wish I wasn’t stressed out every Sunday night. I guess if you don’t need to work and have a bunch of help, daily life becomes a breeze.”

While this may all seem like hyperbole, the sentiments are very real and you should prepare for various forms of judgement, expectation and envy. It’s simply the reality of living with true wealth.

When you exit a company, the visibility of the perceived or actual magnitude of your wealth can trigger some of these less-desirable human emotions for those who surround you. At Corient, we have helped hundreds of founders to navigate these and other types of comments or questions that will inevitably make their way from someone’s mouth to your ears—sometimes directly, and sometimes through the grapevine.

Additionally, while you may not expect it, your life could take on a variety of characteristics that can lead you to feel lonely and isolated. Consider that your life “decision tree” will likely now include only the word “and” rather than “or” when it comes to vacations, private school, college, cars, houses and more. When money quite literally becomes “no object” after a significant liquidity event, your ability to relate to the day-to-day money issues that many of your friends and family encounter may decrease or perhaps vanish altogether.

And even if you tell nobody about the details of your new life through conversation or social media posts, you simply won’t be as present as you used to be. You’ll miss some weekends with the gang. You’ll miss some big plans. You’ll miss making some memories as well. Sure, you’ll be making new ones, but likely with a smaller, tighter and potentially new circle. No one will feel bad for you and this dynamic may be part of your reality from now on.

An exit is typically the pinnacle of the entrepreneurial arc, but without intentionality, it can feel like the trough. Survivorship bias exists in this rarified air of a successful, life-altering exit. And it can come with a lot of baggage that wasn't advertised or allowed as a carry-on aboard your bumpy flight through the entrepreneurial skies. At Corient, we are able to serve as a co-pilot through each part of your entrepreneurial journey. Our dozens of rides in the passenger position have armed us with the ability to anticipate these dramatic twists and turns, so we can help you navigate turbulent times and stay on course for a fulfilling life ahead.

Speak to a Corient Wealth Advisor to see how we can support you at every step along your wealth journey.

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